Random Rubbish Section, 'Why Its Great To Be A Man'
Being Male

Why Its Great to be a Man,..
Yes being a man is cool, now i am not being (that) sexist, but life is good and here are a few reasons why,..
  • Phone Conversations last about 30 seconds,
  • You know useful stuff about tanks and aeroplanes,
  • A five day vacation requires only one suitcase,
  • Bathroom lines are 80% shorter,
  • You can open all your own jars,
  • Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight,
  • When clicking through the channels, you dont have to stop on every shot of someone crying,
  • You don't have to lug a bag 'necessary' items with you everywhere you go,
  • You can go to the bathroom alone,
  • Your last name stays put,
  • You can leave a hotel room bed unmade,
  • You can kill your own food,
  • The garage is all yours,
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness,
  • You never have to clean to toilet,
  • You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes,
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves,
  • If someone forgets to invite you to something you can still be friends,
  • Your underwear costs £5 for a three pack,
  • None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry,
  • You don't have to shave bellow your neck,
  • You don't have to curl up next to some big hairy guy every night,
  • Chocolate is just another snack,
  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat,
  • Flowers (or duct tape) solve everything,
  • You never have to worry about others feelings,
  • Three pairs of shoes is more than enough,
  • You can say anything and not worry about what other people think,
  • You can whip your shirt off on a hot day,
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth,
  • You don't give a toss if someone doesn't notice your new haircut,
  • You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "he must be mad at me",
  • One mood, all the time,
  • You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him,
  • Same work.... more pay,
  • Grey hair and wrinkles add character,
  • Wedding dress = $1,500, Tux rental = £100,
  • You don't care if someone is talking behind your back,
  • The remote is yours and yours alone,
  • You don't need to pretend you're "freshening up", when you go to the bathroom,
  • If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he wont tell your friends you've changed,
  • If another guy turns up at a party in the same outfit, you might well become lifelong friends,
  • The occasional well rounded belch is practically expected,
  • If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room,
  • New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet,
  • You think the idea of punting that small ankle biting dog is funny,
  • You can naturally throw a ball without looking stupid,
  • You don't leave loads of wired stuff in the plug hole,
  • Playing music loud is seen as a good thing,
  • We don't look really crap in the morning,
  • We don't giggle or want to have "private chats",
  • When you are ill, you just shut up and don't moan,
  • A headache is not an excuse for getting out of anything,
  • You can walk home late at night on your own,
  • You can have aguments with your mates and be friends again in a few hours,
  • You can dance with the opposite sex without becoming 'emotionly' invloved,
  • You can save on washing my turning your undergarments inside out doubling there wear time,
  • 'Going Out' is not something that requires hours of preperation,
  • The opposite sex are almost allways more attractive than you are,

Reckon you can add any to the list ? mail them to me, and i will have a look.

Why Its Great to be a Man,.. (2) 'the July 2005 update'.
The first list was from an email i got in september 1999, the second set is from (Helen Hanna), in July 2005, you can see that basicly the same email has been circulating for that long, but it has eveloved over time.

I am quite impressed that one email in various forms can hang around so long, more so given the dramatic changes that have taken place in the internet and the use of email between 1999 and 2005. I look forward to how this email will have changed by 2011 !!.

Title: Men Are Just Happier People
Obligatory sexist comment: What do you expect from such simple creatures?

  • Your last name stays put.
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • You can be President.
  • You can never be pregnant.
  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  • You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  • Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
  • The world is your urinal.
  • You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one
  • is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a
  • nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Wedding dress 3000. Tux rental-80.
  • People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
  • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood all the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase .
  • You can open all of your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is 5.00 for a three-pack.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You almost never have strap problems in public.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
  • You only have to shave your face and neck.
  • You can play with toys all your life.
  • Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
  • You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look.
  • You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25minutes.